


In Another Life

by InsertGenericNameHere



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Aziraphale and Crowley Met Before The Fall (Good Omens), Aziraphale and Crowley in Love (Good Omens), Crowley Was Raphael Before Falling (Good Omens), Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, No beta we fall like Crowley, Post-Canon, its not very clear but thats what it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:40:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29088486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsertGenericNameHere/pseuds/InsertGenericNameHere
Summary: The Them find a ring in Aziraphale's bookshopIt was from the angel's husband, but not from Crowley.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley & The Them (Good Omens), Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Kudos: 39





	In Another Life

Raphael. 

It felt strange to hear that name. It was upsetting. Not because he missed being an angel. Not because he had regrets about what he did. He was happy as a demon, and he was happy where he was. It was upsetting because Aziraphale was talking about him without knowing. One of the Them had found a ring while looking around the bookshop and asked if he had given it to Aziraphale. He lied because he didn’t know who gave the angel the ring. He didn’t remember giving it to Aziraphale. 

That is, of course, until Aziraphale explained later on that evening. That’s when his angel name came up. 

“I used to be betrothed.” Aziraphale had said. “I’m sure you know the archangel, Raphael.”

 _Then_ he remembered. His memories of Heaven were blurry at best, so it made sense he wouldn’t remember. He still wondered how he could have forgotten something like a betrothal, and to his current fiance nonetheless. It seemed ludicrous. Something right out of a Fairytale. Something along the lines of Soulmates. 

Aziraphale had gone on to explain why the betrothal had happened. Raphael had promised to protect Aziraphale after some sort of accident and to make sure he would make good on his promise, they got betrothed. One issue with that, however. Raphael supposedly went missing, abandoning Heaven and Aziraphale before they could be married. 

Not entirely untrue, it made sense they’d lie a little to keep Aziraphale happy. He couldn’t imagine hearing that the one who promised to protect you fell from Heaven. 

Then the story changed. Aziraphale took a moment to think, seeming confused. 

“Raphael was the one who hurt me.” The angel said. A very sudden change in tone than before. His memories weren’t right. 

Raphael had never hurt Aziraphale. Not ever. Only ever accidentally while practising with their swords, and even then, it was just a scratch or a grazed knee. Nothing that Raphael couldn’t fix with a quick touch.

When he voiced his confusion, Aziraphale continued. “Raphael said that if we were married, I wouldn’t be sent to Hell. I thought I had sinned because he hurt me.” 

He knew what Aziraphale was talking about. 

It wasn’t Raphael who had done that to him though. 

Aziraphale said that Raphael was caught and that’s why he went missing, but that wasn’t true. That wasn’t even nearly the truth anymore. Raphael never laid a hand on Aziraphale, not in a malicious way. 

He didn’t want to say anything. Not if Aziraphale thought Raphael was the one who did that to him. He didn’t remember his name or his face, but he knew it wasn’t Raphael that did that to Aziraphale. His leading theory as to why Aziraphale never recognised him was that Heaven had wiped his memory to save him the grief. He knew his memories were more faded than they should have been, even after six to seven thousand years, demons and angels had a good memory, they were immortals, they had to be able to remember it all. 

His theory seemed to be wrong. Heaven was twisting memories to make people believe things that were untrue. He wondered if anyone had the correct, undamaged memories of Raphael, but he’d never find out. 

Aziraphale seemed to notice something and he apologised for telling such an unhappy story. He assured the angel that it was alright, that he didn’t mind, even though he did mind. A lot. He couldn’t stand the thought that the angel he had loved since the day they met had horrid memories about Raphael. 

As they curled up together in bed, later on, he couldn’t help but wonder how badly the memories were tampered with. What did Heaven do to protect the principality? What were they willing to make Aziraphale believe? How much would they lie? 

He slipped into sleep. It didn’t last long. He was woken up to a sound of distress, hurt. A horrible sound. Aziraphale was crying. He wasn’t in bed either, he was on the sofa next to the window. He got up slowly and went over to the angel. He sat with Aziraphale and let him cry, although it pained him to hear. His head ached by the time Aziraphale had calmed down enough to breathe almost properly. 

Shakily, Aziraphale told him what he was upset for. “After I told you about Raphael, I just couldn’t stop thinking about what happened…” He had said with a little hiccup. 

He couldn’t stop his blood from boiling. He was angry at Heaven, at God. She had no right to do this to anyone. He meant it when he said all those thousands of years ago that he hated her. Was someone’s suffering worth another’s happiness? 

He offered comforting words and touches, but couldn’t help but be angry. 

Aziraphale, attentive as ever, had noticed. 

He broke. 

"You don’t actually think he did that to you.” Was his immediate response to the angel’s concern. “Raphael was the one who wanted to keep you safe. He made you remember that another angel’s sins are not your own. It’s not your fault someone else is a disgusting creature.” Aziraphale seemed confused. 

He recalled a particularly clear memory and the emotion drained from his voice. “He loved you since the first time you stumbled into his garden of reptiles. He offered you one, but you declined, you had to be at practice. So did Raphael, so you went together that day. He made sure he was the one in trouble instead of you. Even as he was punished for making you late, he smiled, because he knew he had met the angel he would love in this lifetime and the next.” 

The angel asked how he knew that. He seemed scared. 

He paid Aziraphale no mind and carried on, “All he wanted was to protect you. He healed your injuries, no matter how big or small they were. From a splinter to a broken wing, he refused to see you hurt. It drained him, but you were worth it.” 

Aziraphale yelled this time. “How in Heaven’s name do you know all of this!?”

He watched as the angel teared up again. 

“Raphael healed me no matter my hurt, big or small! Until he did unhelpable damage to me!” The angel was upset and had moved away from him. “If you know all of this, you must know what he did!” 

He snapped. “It wasn’t Raphael. Your memories are wrong.” He made an effort not to raise his voice. 

“Who was it then?! If you know so much about my life before Earth, and about an angel you never knew, who did that to me?! Who ruined my life?” Aziraphale was crying again. An infernal sound. 

When no response came, not even a glance his way, the angel yelled, practically screamed, “ _How do you know any of this?! Answer me, damn it!_ ”

“You’re so smart. Do I need to make it more obvious?” After a stretch of silence, he decided that yes, he did need to make it more obvious. “All I’ve ever wanted to do was protect you, Aziraphale. I told you the night you came to me, your voice so hoarse from crying that you could hardly speak, that another’s fall is not your own.” 

He could have sworn he heard a snap as the angel realised what he meant. 

Before the angel could do or say anything, he stopped him. 

“They lied to you and changed your memory so you would either hate me or forget me. I never hurt you, Aziraphale.” A rush of emotions came back to his voice as he spoke. 

He decides to give up after some time.

“You know what?” He says, stopping Aziraphale mid-way through a sentence. The all too familiar words come to his mouth, “Forget about it.” 

The angel does as he’s told, as he had done every time this happened. 

He thought this time would be different. 

He realises he was wrong. He lets out a sigh as Aziraphale falls asleep on top of him. 

_I can always try again,_ he thinks. 

_One day I’ll get it right._

The fallen angel sighs as he covers Aziraphale in a blanket. 

_That’s what I said last time, isn’t it?_

**Author's Note:**

> This is just angst about my headcanon that Heaven changes memories when an angel falls and the headcanon that Crowley is the archangel, Raphael.  
> This hurt me


End file.
